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22 December 2008 @ 02:08 am
Tear Drops On My Guitar  
Title: Tear Drops On My Guitar
Author: myjadedhavok 
Pairings: One sided Drew/Hunter
Summary: Hunter can relate to a song.
A/N: Our little mod complained about things being too dead here... Here's my attempt at rectifying that. I usually hate country songs but this particular one gave me fic inspiration. Song by Taylor Swift.

The house was quiet. Hunter was pretty sure he was alone, which was the only time he allowed himself to partake in this particular activity. His door was shut tight, just as a precaution, all the same.
He was situated in the middle of his bed, his legs crossed with an acoustic guitar situated on his thighs. His fingers moved flawlessly between cords, the other hand strumming lazily. His eyes were shut, his entire focus on the song, as he swayed softly and sang the words almost silently.
He’d never admit to it. Not to knowing the song or liking the song or being able to play it so flawlessly. No, he’d never admit to it.

He remembered the first time he heard it. They were in the van and he’d been driving. He couldn’t remember where they were except that they had shit for radio reception and their CD player had been on the fritz. Which meant listening to cheesy country songs and laughing at Travis when he made new lyrics for all the different songs.

And then it’d come on and the words had played over and over in his head, forever imprinted into his head. Dan had reached up from the back halfway through and shut the radio off, leaving them in silence. Hunter hadn’t switched it back on like he had wanted, but he’d googled the lyrics the first chance he got and bought the song off iTunes. It’d taken him half a month to learn the notes by ear. And he played it every time he was alone.

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won’t see
That I want and I’m needing
Everything that we should be

The day he realized it, everything had been normal. They’d driven all night to make it on time, had grabbed some sandwiches from the Subway attached to the gas station they’d filled up at, and actually managed to scrounge up another ten bucks to last the week. They were barely making it. The Kings weren’t living very kingly at all. Travis had a million puns about it.

It was the first show they played that really got a reaction. It was the first show where they could look out across and see kids jumping up and down; see their bright eyes as they screamed out lyrics to songs that hadn’t even been put on a CD yet. Some faces were familiar, kids who loved the opening band enough to go to more than one show.

Hunter played. His veins felt on fire with adrenaline, a high he could easily become addicted to. It felt amazing and he wanted to share it.

He looked up, his eyes meeting his brother’s. His face was mostly abscured by hair and glasses, but Hunter could see the grin that threatened to split his face open. Drew tossed his head back, shaking his hair from his face for a moment.

Happy didn’t describe Drew. His eyes were dancing, a laugh falling from his lips in a way he couldn’t help. He looked so beautiful, so perfect.

It was no wonder Hunter was so in love with him.

And, just like that. Woah.

And, also. Shit.

I bet she’s beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she’s got everything
That I have to live without

By nature, Drew is shy and quiet and usually very withdrawn. For Cassie, a girl that Hunter didn’t know, hadn’t met, and before a few moments before had never heard about, to get his brother so animated… It wasn’t something he was use to.

Hunter wasn’t use to sharing Drew. The closest he came was sharing him with Travis and Dan, but that was different. That was the band. Drew depended solely on Hunter. To protect him, to keep him safe. To ward off the scantily clad girls that pressed themselves too close, let their hands wander too far, and enjoyed the way Drew blushed far too much. Only Hunter was truly allowed close.

Except, after the show, Hunter hadn’t been able to find Drew. Not for a while. He hadn’t been distinctly panicked, because when it came down to it Drew could take care of himself, Hunter just preferred to do it for him. Still, after a while, he’d been rather anxious.

He needn’t have worried. Drew had stumbled into their hotel room with a huge grin across his face, talking nonstop about some girl named Cassie.

Cassie, Hunter decided, was blonde. Blonde and pretty and perfect. She probably had green eyes, like the sea. He was willing to bet they sparkled. Eyes were usually something that Drew paid attention to and he seemed to really like green.

Hunter also decided that he didn’t much care for Cassie. He didn’t say anything, though. Drew was just so happy. He couldn’t.

He wondered if maybe Drew hadn’t been talking a mile-a-minute, if maybe he would have been able to hear his older brother’s heart break.

Drew talks to me
I laugh because it’s so damn funny
I can’t even see
Anyone when he’s with me

Drew’s eyes are laughing when he leans close and whispers something into Hunter’s ear. It’s a flippant comment about fear and clowns and a casual wave of his hand in the fangirls’ direction that has Hunter snickering and laughing outright when they pass by a group of girls who do indeed look like a clown and a panda mated and created some bizarre human-ish species.

A fan asks for a picture and Hunter pauses. He and Drew both pose and there’s a flash of light. Hunter says something along the lines of enjoy the show and Drew squeaks something, latching immediately onto Hunter’s jacket.

Hunter wasn’t aware that the girl’s hand had lingered on his arm too long. He hadn’t noticed that she’d pressed herself against him and all but ignored his brother. And he had no recollection of the bedroom eyes she’d apparently had been unable to take off of him.

None of it had reached his attention until several hours later, when they were all crammed in a van nearly a state away, and Travis had started laughing out of nowhere. Danny had joined in on the teasing and they hadn’t shut up until Hunter threw a pillow at them and settled down in the back to sulk and maybe sleep.

Drew hadn’t said anything, but he’d had the familiar look of amusement that Hunter could pull from him.

He says he’s so in love
He’s finally got it right
I wonder if he even knows
He’s all I think about at night

It’s another hotel night. Hunter likes hotel nights because no one in their right mind would like to stay in a van over a hotel room. Besides, it felt more like home. Hotel nights meant a room all to Hunter and Drew, meant sprawled out on a bed (or across two beds) and talking about nothing until sleep took them and carried them away.

They can’t afford double beds, so they’re on the same one. Two floors down, Travis and Danny were probably fighting over where exactly the middle was of the bed they were to share and in the morning, when they inevitably woke up curled together, there would be many awkward looks before Drew rolled his eyes and ordered them to get over it.

At the moment, all Drew was preoccupied with was Cassie.

“She’s really great, Hunt… Like, really great.”

Hunter hummed but didn’t say anything. He stared at the ceiling and thought of things that had nothing to do with Drew or Cassie or the fact that he was in love with his little brother.

“I… I think I’m in love. For real this time.”

“That’s great, Drew.” Hunter muttered. He rolled over, presenting his back to Drew, he pressed his face into the pillow hard to hide whatever tears manage to escape. “Turn out the light?” He said, though it was garballed and muffled through the pillow. “I’m beat.”

“Yah, sure.” Drew shrugged easily and the light snapped off. And, just like he always did, he kissed Hunter’s cheek before settling down to sleep.

He never heard the sobs that tore from Hunter’s throat when he finally let himself go after hours of holding it in.

Drew walks by me
Can’t he tell that I can’t breathe
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

They’re home, which is awesome. Hunter likes being home. He likes having his own bed, likes waking to the smell of pancakes or waffles or omelets. Their mother’s favorite thing was to smother them whenever they were in a fifty mile radius, so there was an unlimited amount of cookies seemingly pouring from the oven.

He needed a minute away. Away from his mom and all her well meaning, away from his dad and the endless questions of the road, and away from Drew for just a minute before his heart exploded.

And so, he was on the porch, his elbows propped up on his knees. He stared down at the cracks in the cement and thought about how his heart was a lot like that, cracked and broken and never really gonna heal. Usually he let Travis handle all the deep, angst-ridden thoughts, but lately he couldn’t help it.

The door banged open and Drew jogged down the steps, almost two at a time. He was grinning and laughing, just the way Hunter liked to see him.

“Hey, I’m heading over the beach. You wanna go?” Drew asked, pausing a moment. Hunter shook his head.

“Nah, go on… I’m gonna hang out here and weasel some more cookies out of Mom.”

“Kay.” Drew bounced along the sidewalk.

Drew was perfect. He deserved someone like Cassie, who was equally perfect. Not someone like Hunter...

He needed to remember that.

So I drive home alone
As I turn off the light
I’ll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

“Drew, come on!”

“Just go,” Drew called, “Cassie’s coming to pick me up. I’ll see you at home later.”

Hunter nodded jerkily and took off in the car. They’re barely off tour and already Drew’s off to be with Cassie. He might have sped the entire way back to his parents’ house, but if his breaks squeal a little too much when he comes to screeching stop before the house, neither of his parents say anything.

In his room, Hunter stared at a picture. It was simple, just Hunter and Drew from when they were kids. Hunter thought it might have been Drew’s first day of school, judging from the little backpack on Drew’s back and the big grin that’s displaying tiny little crooked teeth. It sat next to Hunter’s bed for years. For so many years that Hunter couldn’t remember a time when it wasn’t there.

Hunter threw the picture across the room with a scream. The glass frame shattered against the wall and Hunter watched it, panting harshly, for a minute.

Then he climbed into bed, squeezed his eyes shut so tight he saw stars, and prayed desperately for sleep.

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won’t see

Hunter’s in his room. He’s cross-legged on the bed with an acoustic guitar settled on his thighs. He’s playing a song, singing it under his breath so quietly it isn’t audible. He thinks he’s alone.

He’s not.

Drew’s watching, with a furrowed brow. Because Drew isn’t use to this, to Hunter being so still and so quiet and so serious. Drew can’t think of a time when Hunter has smiled in nearly six months. It’s pretty much tearing Drew apart.


Hunter jumps and squawks and almost tumbles backward off the bed. Drew giggles and Hunter looks up. Drew steps further into the room to join Hunter on the bed, talking about what he’d been doing with Cassie.

“You should come along, next time.”

Hunter nods. Drew glances over, an eyebrow raised.

Hunter smiles.